How to deal with the duel with grief?

THE DUEL, WHAT IS IT? 

It is an internal process that occurs in the face of the loss of an affective relationship, whatever the type, that is, it can go from the loss of a job, like a change of residence, the breakdown of a romantic relationship to the loss of a loved one. Grief is the psychological process that can be experienced not only by death, but every time in life we ​​have an experience of definitive interruption of something, of loss, of distance that cannot be covered ..

WHAT CHANGES ARE MANIFESTING? 

Grief changes our way of discerning and interpreting reality. During this process, especially in the early stages, reality becomes hostile, unpleasant, harmful, unpleasant. The cognitive distortions would come to be polarized glasses, which only show us certain data of reality, leading us to mistakes.

REACTIONS TO THE GRIEVANCE THOUGHTS:

Some frequent thought patterns include rejection, confusion, trouble concentrating, and worry and hallucinations. 

  • BEHAVIORS: A grieving person may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. They may also lose the energy to do enjoyable activities. 
  • PHYSICAL SENSATIONS: these include tightness in the chest or throat, nausea or upset stomach, dizziness, headaches, physical, physical numbness, weakened or strained muscles, and  fatigue. 
  • FEELINGS: These can include shock, blockage, sadness, denial, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, guilt, loneliness, depression, helplessness, depression, relief, and longing.

PHASES OF THE DUEL 

The Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identifies 5 states that occur to a greater or lesser degree, whenever we suffer a loss. Although they can occur successively, it does not always have to be this way, each process, like each person, is unique. 

DENIAL: It works as a personal defense to protect themselves from reality, the person can deny what happened. For example, some people get rid of souvenirs, clothes, items that can remind them of what they want to avoid.

ANGER: at this stage the person feels angry, upset and unfairly treated by life. You can focus your anger on yourself, against the person who was a romantic partner or with the person who has died, or against the health system such as doctors and hospitals. 

  • NEGOTIATION: this stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay a breakup or death. We tend to try to explain what happened from reason, looking for possible solutions or trying to understand the reason for what happened. 
  • DEPRESSION: death is beginning to be understood as something inevitable and the mood is affected. In this stage, people can isolate themselves socially. Sadness, emptiness, isolation and hopelessness appear, all characteristics of a normal grief and are temporary. 
  • ACCEPTANCE: at this stage the reality is accepted that our loved one has physically left and it is recognized that said reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality nor will we agree with it, but in the end we accept it.

 

IS THE GRIEF IN CHILDREN THE SAME?

Yes, children are aware of death and feel great grief over the loss of a loved one, but how it is displayed will depend on the age of the child. The most common symptoms are: regressive behavior, fears, depression, separation anxiety, sleep disorders, discipline problems, impatience, learning difficulties, eating disorders, death fantasies.

 

5 PHASES OF THE DUEL, IF YOU ARE LIVING IN A LOVING BREAKUP: 

DENIAL AND ISOLATION: 

° We deny reality and act as if everything will continue the same. 

° We use this phase as a form of protection 

° It is necessary to see the situation in the most objective way to be clear. 

RAGE PHASES: 

° We feel anger and strong rage for the person who separates from us. 

° It is characterized by feeling frustration and anger. 

° Sometimes anger is directed at oneself or by people around us.

NEGOTIATION PHASES: 

° We try to accept the situation and get closer to the other person again. 

° We look for a way to try to do anything to get the relationship back. 

° A bad approach can ruin the situation again, and even make it worse. 

PHASES OF DEPRESSION: 

° We lose hope of recovering the person we love.

° We begin to be objective and to realize that there is no going back. 

° It is characterized by intense sadness at the loss of someone who was very special.

ACCEPTANCE PHASES: 

° After the sadness of the previous phase, we began to visualize a future. 

° We accept that the relationship ended, and that what could not be will not be. 

° We no longer look for the other person, we feel at peace and ready to move on.

 

WHAT IS A SESSION OF PSYCHOTHERAPY?

a psychotherapy session depends on two factors:

1. the population being directed.

2. the specialty of the psychotherapist.

The vast majority of psychotherapy is conversational, which uses dialogue or conversation to resolve emotional situations in these patients or clients, this can be presented in individual, family, couple or group psychotherapy.

 

 

CREATED BY PSYCHOTHERAPIST DANIELA BATISTA

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